i just need to write something

if not, i think i will kill myself for being soooo stupid! by not using my mind!! why am i this bad! im such a bad..bad...girl u know. aarrrrggghhhhh...

This is why i wont promote my blog to anyone. unless it is caused by fate. i love coincidence-stuff by the way. This whole DAY, this whole WEEK, this whole MONTH, this whole YEAR!! i've done NOTHING!!. NOTHING AT ALL!! and i dont even know why am i being like this! im surrounded by good friends, good environment, a bit of good internal and external pressure and so on! what is still lack! what is still not enough!! i know im someone who dont really change because of others. it is all within myself. im the one responsible for making myself become like THIS!

The CLOCK is TICKING nana! the CLOCK IS TICKING!! its already tooooo late... tooooo late... DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF!! Please..please..please...

i know ive tried restrict myself from doing a few bad things that i used to do before. and i happened to success in doing it. its already been a few months already. however, its just not enough. i think i only manage to remove less than 20% of the bad and black things inside me. uughhhhh...it is SO HARD. Yet the SACRIFICE done is still not enough. MORE nana.. MORE... MORE.. cause you are NOT this kind of girl. you are a GOOD girl. intelligent one. Please.. dont waste yourself. dont be such a trash!

"Oo.. Allah, Who turns the hearts and the eyes, turns our hearts to be "faithful" to You"
Aamiiiiiiiinnnnn....

Diari Acheh

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

"Hati ini berbunga-bunga. Berapa lama lagikah perlu kutunggu sebelum kaki ini dapat menjejaki Acheh? Begitu rindu padanya walau belum pernah ketemu."

fuh! a poetic intro. still, it is true. within my heart. well, to be sure, InsyaAllah, next monday i'll be going to Acheh via Air Asia. bought the 2-way ticket at ONLY RM35!! Can you believe that?! hehe..

neway, ive never been on a flight before evenmore a labi-labi ( a type of van at Acheh like minibus here). eventhough the flight will be just like for 25 mins still worth it. so short right! even sarawak is more than that. haha~

we will depart from LCCT at 4pm on 6th of november, this sunday. 

will post some more soon. bye!

Photoshop image retouch

another photoshop-ing. lalala..

Create Coloring Effect

saturate to -70 > using brush, paint all the colors that u like > blend into soft light > filter with gaussian blur

Create Lomography Effect

create vignette using marquee tool, inverse n level the dark side > flatten > slant the curves > sharpen > make new layer on top > make it black > set tu hue > reduce opacity to 40%

Art of the day

i dont like to read but i have to. please tell me.. how can you make yourself fall in love with reading.. oh Allah.. please help me.. let me feel the excitement of immersing myself with books, journals, etc.. If not, i will endanger myself mentally. Which will then lead to physical abuse of my very own self where my stomach keeps churning all day long thinking about all the work that is still not finished just because reading is not my habit!

everytime i think today is the day that i will become a new person with new, fresh thought, the next second i will doom it like saying the world is just a ball circling around itself. therefore, no need to care about everything and just let every single thing goes and flows by itself. and so the next day will be worse than today.

and i will start blaming myself for all the things that happened.. no mood.. n finish with i should jus become a rock! (sorry, this is jus a metaphor. hehe..)

anyway, i just want to read! i want to like reading! i wannna be a bookworm! i want to have enough time to read all the things that i have to read! that's all..