Am I rebelling??

Ottoke.. i just realise that im rebelling against myself rite now!! at first i thought it was nothing. i am happy as always. then, i realise..something is wrong with me.. definitely WRONG!! it's really scary cause no one can change it except my ownself. im such a cold-stone-heart person.

before, i use to talk to myself, like.. owh..u shouldnt do this nanachan.. its not good.. ahhh~.. today is really beautiful.. nanachan.. what's next.. and so on..so on.. cause i really love my ownself. and no one understand me better other than myself. like.. owh nanachan! u r a genius, how can u thought something like that!! and i will have a very big smile on my face cause of the praise comes form my very own mouth! hahahaha.. despite that, others' praise never affect me. i dont care about others' praise. it just goes like wind.

i used to walk alone, and talking to my ownself during that time is the best. its like having ur best friend besides you. and for your information, i dont have any best friends. just friends. i dont like to watch movies with others cause it will be more dramatic that way.. i dont do shopping with lots of people cause they cant stand the 'i-like-to-see-every-single-thing-first-before-buying' thing. hehe.. 


and back to the rebel thing, this week is the worst! i cannot control my ownself! the responsibility and burden is getting bigger by seconds.. yet i cannot do anything. my body and mind wont listen. Ottoke..ottoke..
the weird thing is, i dont get down.. or crying over it.. or seeking others for some advice.. my daily life is still the same. but i become blank, blur, empty, solemn maybe, dull, searching for dont know what in front of my lappy, fantasizing nothing, sleep, seems happy but actually not.


pathetic isn'it? aigooo nanachan.. u r a genius nanachan.. how can u be this low.. and that's why im writing all this. im just a bad..bad..bad..person. but no one believes.. well, its not my fault and im not covering this up. its just myself that can be switch on and off easily. its just this time, the switch is broken!


byeeeeeeeeeeeee............

new books..new life..

everytime i want to start anew, i buy new notebooks.. then i categorized each of them into different things; master, PEMBINA, ISMA, etc.. end up, i have lotsss of books halfway filled. haha.. such a weak heart i am.

and yesterday, i bought another 2 notebooks. i dont know what i should categorized them into. at first, i thought, i need one book for anything related to digital drawing. but then, i feel, it will be such a waste since drawing is not my main purpose of life. then, i said, lets make a new PEMBINA book. but then again, its an F5 book. so, the size is not so suitable. it should be at least an A4 size. for master also not suitable. there are only 80 pages including cover. not enough..not enough..

should i make another 'ANYTHING' book? i already got 2. and they were almost finished and wrecked. these 'UNCATEGORIZED' book were the most used books and the only book that was used from cover to cover.

the problem with the 'Anything' book is that i need to bring them everyday, everywhere, and everytime. it is so important that i might jot down anything that come to my mind or happened anytime. therefore, no..no..no.. 80 pages are too little. 


hmm, then, just make it into 'to do list' book! yay! got it! and, 'monthly calendar' book! easy then. Tq..tq..tq.. hehe..


bye..

My precious childhood song

Lagu rama-rama
Dari ulat jadi kepompong
Dia hidup dalam kelongsong
Cukup masa kepompong pecah POM!
Jadi rama-rama yang indah

Rama-rama terbang melata
Sungguh cantik aneka warna
Hisap madu di pohon bunga
Tapi sayang hidup tak lama

Begitulah hidup manusia
Tanpa iman dan juga taqwa
Pada Allah kita berdoa
Agar jadi insan mulia

Lagu labah-labah
Labah-labah cuba panjat perigi
Bila hujan turun labah cepat lari
Terbit matahari air tiada lagi
Labah cuba panjat sekali lagi

Lagu Pak Mujahid had a farm
Pak Mujahid had a farm.. i-ya-i-ya-oo..
In his farm he had a cow.. i-ya-i-ya-oo..
with the moo moo here.. moo moo there..
everywhere moo moo..
Pak Mujahid had a farm.. i-ya-i-ya-oo..
(followed by other types of animals)

digital drawing

First time meh!
i even created my own deviantart account. wowwee...
http://nanachan86.deviantart.com/

buhbye~